How Sushi Are You?

Sushi (adj) – Someone who is A-MAZING, possesses all of the qualities of what is stereotypically jappy, but is not necessarily Jewish. Obviously, this person LOVES sushi. You don’t have to be female to be sushi, but you almost certainly have a direct relationship with a member/ thousands of members of the Sushi 12 Conference:

UPenn
Cornell
Emory
Michigan
Wisconsin
Indiana
BU
Wash U
Syracuse
GW
Arizona
Maryland

Below is a list of some other things that are sushi. How sushi are you?

1. If you got over 1000 on your SAT, then it is with 100% certainty that you or one of your five best friends growing up attended a school in the Sushi 12.
2. You know numerous girls named Lindsay, Joanna/Jordana and Ali.
3. The word “AMAZING” is the most amazing word in the dictionary and the word that describes just about everything.
4. Oh, and any activity is “So Fun!”
5. Flats vs. Uggs- So comfortable- but are they worth it?
6. Sweatpants with writing on the ass.
7. Vodka Soda- aka “The Linds”- the greatest drink ever (low cal, obv).
8. SDT, AEPHI, SAMMY, ZBT, AEPI- Get in or you are OUT!
9. CAMP!
10. Someone you lived with in college attended one of these high schools: Dalton, Horace Mann, Scarsdale, Great Neck East, Syosset, Jericho, Highland Park, Newton South, Cross Roads or Harvard Westlake.
11. Post graduation city options- New York or LA- That’s it!
12. Law school for guys- followed by jobs that require at least 100 hour work weeks- complaining about the hours (standard) but zero chance you’ll leave. Same applies for banking! (You justify it by telling people you’re learning a ton…)
13. Law school for girls- Great place to meet a LAWYER!
14. Agency Training in LA- Ari Gold is your hero (Daddy is making payments on your beamer because you make 28k a year but HAVE to fit in at Trousdale).
15. PR for girls (editor’s note: what in the world is a career in PR? What does Ali do all day?- I’m sure it’s A-mazing).
16. Exclamation points!!! (With everything, not just when something is exclamation worthy!!!).
17. Smiley faces.
18. Handbags- at least one for every day of the week.
19. First apartment in NYC- The Caroline or Windsor Court.
20. For bros who crave the continuation of the frat life- until their job and their Sushette turn them into their dad- we’ll see you on the StuyTown basketball courts this weekend.
21. Second Apartment- 300 Mercer.
22. Third Apartment- West Village studio or 1BR (So mature).
23. Work hard play harder… until you’re 26 and you HAVE to get engaged.
24. Speaking of engaged- Did a girl you lived with in college just get engaged? Give it 8 months before the other 5 girls in your house do too? A-MAZING!
25. Girlfriend is out of town- gonna rage with my bros!
26. Future book clubbers of America.
27. Did we mention how A-mazing the word “amazing” is?
28. Oh, and “Yay.”
29. Little dogs.
30. You watch at least 2 versions of the Real Housewives.
31. Salad 5 days per week? Need to stay healthy till you splurge… on SUSHI!
32. The gym!
33. Yoga/ Spinning- Obv! OMG, Soul Cycle! Who’s your fave instructor?
34. 16 Handles vs. Pinkberry- a bigger rivalry than Yankees vs. Red Sox.
35. Irrational crying!
36. Die hard Yankee Fan. Oh! And now I love the KNICKS! How much are tickets?!
37. Parliament lights!
38. If you didn’t go to a school with a major college football team, you root for another school in the Sushi 12 because of your relationship from rule 1. “My brother went to Michigan!”
39. Slumming in college meant an extended period sleeping with a lacrosse player. But that is so DUNZO. Now it is strictly older guys who can afford the best sushi (Who have careers stemming from rule 12 or 14).
40. Facebook for Sushettes-looking at girls from high school to see how they look now. “Definitely hope she is fat. I hated that bitch!”
41. Facebook for Sushbros- Checking out girls I wanna smash.
42. Facebook Status #1- “Sushi with my girls. LOVE YA BITCHES.”
43. Facebook Status #2- “Obsessed with my girls!”
44. Birthdays! At least one a weekend. That’s why NY is amazing. So many people here!
45. Come to my Joint birthday party with Jordana on the LES… I would so never live there, though, GROSS… But it’s so fun to go out down there! You better come (And feel free to bring whoever).
46. Nickname for your group of girl friends has something to do with how pretty the group is: Pretties, Lovelies, etc. (Unless they are simply, your besties or favs!)
47. Having a really close gay friend.
48. Being way too busy with work!!!
49. Happy hour!
50. Spicy Tuna roll-no rice- (Calories, YUCK!), ginger salad and a vodka soda… I’m full!
51. Two dates in and David is “your man” or “your babe.”
52. Two dates in and David is making references from the Jersey Shore to his banker pals to describe what he is planning on doing to you, Linds, on Date 3.
53. David has very strong opinions about sports.
54. He plays in multiple fantasy leagues.
55. And he worships the sports guy.
56. If he wasn’t good at sports in high school, he didn’t let the brothers know during rush…
57. Leggings!!! So warm, but do they make my ass look fat?
58. “I went to Penn.” Translation- I went to a really good private school that funnels sushi there”…LEGACY!
59. “I was deciding between Michigan, Emory and Wash U.” Translation- I got rejected early decision from Penn.
60. “I went to Wisconsin because I wanted to have fun.” Translation- I couldn’t get into Michigan, Emory or Wash U.
61. “I just wanted to go to Indiana with my besties.” Translation- You are a true ambassador of SUSHI.
62. “I went to Zona.” Translation- I am rich and from Southern California.
63. Let’s go to a sports bar on Saturday or Sunday- TO MEET GUYS!
64. Soco and Lime shots!
65. Abbrevs! How is this #65? It’s the only way you talk!
66. At least 1 of your besties from the Pretties (#46) will not be one of your favs by three years out of college. They so stole “my man.”
67. I’ve been in NYC for 5 years. I think I want to try LA. THE WEATHER!
68. I’ve been in LA for 5 years. “Ugh, Traffic.”  I think I want to try New York! THE ACTION!
69. Bridesmaid speech- “Lindsay LOVES good food. We always knew Linds would marry a LAWYER!”  (Editor’s note: do some people not like good food?)
70. Soy wraps- SO FUN!
71. The South- EWW- But I hear Austin is AMAZING!
72. EDAMAME!
73. You refer to celebrities by their first names.
74. You tell people who ask you where you are from that you are from New York or LA –or whichever sushi hotbed you currently reside- not the suburb you grew up in.
75. If you happen to be from NYC or LA, you always include “I grew up there” or “born and raised” to rule 74.
76. You live with one of your besties from camp…A…MAZING!
77. Being set up!
78. Let’s get drinks? (something chill of course)
79. 25 and under= my friends are so hot!
80. Over 25= She’s single. Do you want to meet her?
81. A long and prosperous career…Till I’m 30 and want to have BABIES!
82. Twirling the hair…
83. “That’s so funny!” (no joke was told) – Leads to more hair twirling.
84. Visits to South Florida.
85. Reality television shows… It gets personal. You actively discuss the characters as if they have real life significance: “She’s such a bitch!”
86. Kourtney is so much skinnier than Kim. Scott is SUCH a jerk! But Khloe is sooooo chill… I love her husband. What team does he play for?…And what’s his name again?…Either way, I love him!
87. You are 3 degrees removed from a Real World castmate: “My bestie’s cousin went to college with her. She is SO not like that in real life!” (Is there a person reading this that is not 3 degrees removed from Colie from Real World Denver?)
88. US Weekly- Sufficient reading for the week? Totes!
89. New Years- South Beach or Cabo? It’s always such a let down when we stay in the city! Why am I stressing about this?!
90. Private equity. Not sure what it is, but I so want to date a guy who does it!
91. Dudes who wear winter hats indoors (fashionable!)
92.  Scarves…in 50 degree weather!
93. “Excuse me. Can you take a picture?…Hold on; let me see it really quick… Do you mind taking another?(Let’s do the kissie face with this one)…Ok, you can take it now. Thanks!”
94. Flannels- I don’t give a fuck… but I so do. Meet you at the Smith in 20?
95. Fashion week- Super Bowl for Ms. Spicy Tuna Roll.
96. Which shoes should I wear?
97. NYU would be so in, except that it’s not college, it’s a 4 year head start on drug abuse and sushi intake. (Note to NYU students- Take 4 years, and go have a college campus. It’s fun. Plenty of time to spend $2,000/month on rent).
98. Skinny arms and calves—Is anything more important?!
99. Time for Brunch with my pretties! ( YAY!)– GG, TTYL!

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