SWMG: Ugh…Valentine’s Day

Ugh… Valentine’s Day!

Instead of suffocating myself with candy hearts I decided I would just make a vow. Next year, I WILL HAVE A VALENTINE (and hopefully be engaged 🙂 ).

But this year, I am boycotting. Apparently, so are a bunch of my girls on Facebook. And so now it’s time to get ready for all the annooooooooooying Valentine’s questions in the elevator at work. (For once, I wish we could just talk about how the weekend wasn’t long enough or how this winter will NEVER end!).

SWMG: Excuses for why I am totally ok with not having a date on Valentine’s Day

1. I’m having a blast being single. Playing the field. It feels so free!
2. Valentine’s Day is such a hallmark holiday. I just don’t believe in it.
3. Valentine’s Day falls on a Monday. I start my weekly diet every Monday and kind of just want to go to yoga.
4. I don’t need some holiday to tell the world I am in love. I just need a boy to kiss me in the rain wearing a Spider Man outfit like Seth Cohen does in “The OC.” (Is this too much to ask?)

But in the midst of making my list, the craziest thing happened. I just stopped. I never stop making lists. I love lists! But I couldn’t help it- my mind was elsewhere. Valentine’s Day has me thinking about love and relationships and this weekend I had maybe the toughest breakup of my entire life.

The story goes like this…

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When I went to sleep Saturday night I thought I was finally ready to end it. I spent the entire day cleansing myself- I went to a Physique57 class AND a Soul Cycle class (Nick’s class is the BEST!), ate strictly organic and I must have drank like 6 Kombuchas! But then I woke up Sunday morning in a horrible sweat…GROSS (but hopefully I lost like ⅛ of a pound). Was this really happening?

Let’s rewind a bit.

I bbm’d (blackberry message- obv!) Jordana on Friday to see where we were doing Girls Night. When she didn’t respond IMMEDIATELY I thought something was very wrong. She always responds immediately!

I then tried Ali… She didn’t respond either… WTF! Were the boots I bought last week that ugly?

I then did something that I thought I would never do again, something I hadn’t done since 2008. And it felt really really yucky… I used my blackberry to make a phone call!

Ali picked up and asked: “Umm, why are you calling me?… LOL.”

“You didn’t reply to my BBM’s…Que Pasa biatch?!”

And then she said 5 words that would change my life forever: “Me and Jordana got iPhones!”

I immediately fainted.

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I woke up 2 hours later to a different world. This was now a world where I HAD to break up with my blackberry!

For as long as I can remember BBMing has been the only thing more important to me than my family. It is the only way me and the girls have ever communicated. But now it’s over. My BBMigas are gone.

I should have seen this coming.

At the bar, after the super bowl, Private equity boy started to tell me about how last thursday would be some huge day on Wall Street (A-mazing!). He put his iPhone and blackberry on the table (“Different phones to close different deals”- I overheard him tell another Sushbro once… I didn’t get it). He then began some sort of demonstration. “With the iPhone becoming available on Verizon, he said, “the entire market for smart phones blah blah blah blah blah…” #BORING!!!

I dazed off only to start thinking about the pros and cons of carrot sticks vs. celery sticks… When I started to think about ranch dressing i snapped myself out of it… and there he was, still yapping away. (Is this really what I want for the next 40 year of my life?… STOP IT! of course this is what you want!)

While I missed most of what Private Equity Boy said I realized I should have caught the big picture. This Verizon iPhone thing was a very big deal!

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My blackberry has been my fave accessory for as long as I can remember (apologies to my yoga mat). It wakes me in the morning and is the last thing I say good night to. It’s the one that gives me reminders about my doctor’s appointments (Is 6 per week normal?) and it’s the one thing the waiter doesn’t clear away from the table when dinner is over.

But yesterday, after hours pacing around my apartment, I finally did it. It took a lot of courage, but at the end of the day, it was something I just needed to do. I went to the Verizon Store in Union Square and ended the longest and most incredible relationship I have ever had.

I HAD to go to get an iPhone. It’s just the way things work (the girls apologized and they told me how much they loved my boots…Thank god. When they finally showed me their iPhones there was no turning back… They were so pretty!). It’s weird though. Change can be very hard. I now know how Luke Perry felt the first time he left Beverly Hills 90210. (Saddest episode ever!). But it’s for the best.

Everyone says the iPhone is way better. That except for email (So 20th century), emoticons (I’ll miss my fave- 3rd row, 2nd from the right) and BBM (my baby) the iPhone is just a better phone. I guess I’m just not ready to accept that, though.

I thought not having a Valentine was the worst thing ever (Honestly, I HATE being single) (Even more honestly, I just realized that I say “honestly” an awful lot. What an A-mazing word!) But not having a Valentine is not the worst thing in the world. Saying goodbye to my blackberry is even harder. But it’s just something I have to do.

And so here it goes…

Bye Bye BB! I love you and will never forget you! You will never be replaced!

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6 Hours Later:

I just finished texting Ali and Jordana: “iPhone. Coolest invention EVER!!!”
The keypad is A-mazing and the apps are INCREDIBLE! It even has an app that turns your phone into a mirror… Could it be more resourceful?!

When I asked my dad why anyone would EVER use a blackberry again, he told me that this could be a terrific idea for a stock investment. While I had no idea what he was talking about I felt so f’ing smart.

This was by far and away the BEST decision of my entire life!

Mwah!

(The End)

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